Weddings & Vikings

25 Nov 2014 by gebhard, 5 Comments »

1378661_468040156669024_7266419432093111601_nA short time ago, two of my good friends got married. This week they are off on their honeymoon. For those who know Scott and Jennifer, this comes as no surprise, even a blind man could see how crazy there are for each other.

As I sat in my 3 piece suit waiting for the bride the enter, my thoughts turned to the most obvious thing to think about at a wedding, Is it an open bar? Then after that, I thought the next obvious thing, Vikings.  (I’m sure anyone in the SCA often thinks about Vikings.)

I wondered if I had giving them my Viking wedding pitch? Maybe by posting my idea here, I can convince one of my readers to one day have a Viking wedding.

What is a Viking wedding? I’m glad you asked, To answer that, I have to cover how the tradition of having a “best” man came about.  There was a time not so long ago, when raiding weddings and stealing brides to ransom them back was a lucrative business model.

I’m sure you can imagine somewhere in 750 AD a Viking standing near a large boulder, where he had carved out his newly thought up business proposal while he was trying to convince his friends to crowdfund it.  His plan was a simple one, and the runes on the bolder spelled it out plainly:

Step 1. Steal Bride
Step 2.
Step 3. Profit.

And thus a new era of stealing brides from weddings for fun and profit ensued.

This venture wasn’t received by standing aside and letting hordes make off with loved ones (or sheep). So a counter was devised where Grooms hired the Best fighter in town, or the Best Man they could afford to stand next them at the altar, to shut down any attempts to abscond with the bride.

Tell me this isn’t the perfect setup for an SCA wedding. We already have the chain shirts!

With that I will present, “The big wedding idea” ™

As the bride and groom are about to say “I do,” a band of Vikings busts into the back of the church/hall/other place. They shout some sort of taunt, “We are here for gold. I’m sure we will fetch a ransom for you. Stay where you are if you value your life”. The Groom dons a helmet, draws a sword, and says “You’ll have to go through me”, Then, the bride pops on her helm, yells “Not if I get them first” and charges out to meet the intruders.  Together side by side, the Groom and Bride beat back a horde of Vikings. Proving that love really is an unstoppable force, before returning the altar to exchange their vows.

Bonus points if:

  • Bridesmaids also join the fray.
  • Non-SCA attendees do not know that this is going to happen.
  • The priest asks, “If anyone objects let them speak now” while the Bride and Groom are still holding their weapons.

If anyone would like to help in making this happen, please contact me.

10478322_468039380002435_3671088818174738832_oFor my newlywed friends, and really everyone else, remember that the joy in life comes from the little things:  the smiles in the morning as the sun is just starting creep through the curtains, the sharing of a extra tasty cupcake or funny video you found. It’s those “I just saw (or did) something amazing, and I’ve barely been able to wait to tell you about it” moments that make all the difference in the world. It’s sharing those little pieces of you, that combine with the little pieces of them that will combine to make something better over time.

I wish a lifetime of joy, smiles and tasty gluten free cupcakes for Jennifer and Scott.

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  1. Bev Roden says:

    Gebhard – I saw a YouTube video in the last two years where something like that happened at a wedding. Not Viking, but definitely cosplay involving the groom, groomsmen, bridesmaids, and the bride-to-be joined in the fight at the end. It was really epic. Of course, my Google-fu is failing me right now, but if I see it again, I’ll share.

  2. Bev Roden says:

    I found it! The YouTube video’s title is “OFFICIAL Epic Wedding Ceremony Battle (Batman, Iron Man & More)”

  3. Spryte says:

    That is an absolutely AMAZING IDEA!! Sadly … I’m a good 10 years too late to make use of it. *chuckles* Maybe if my husband and I have a renewal of our vows…..?

  4. Raven says:

    Geb….seriously! Seriously how did I miss this post!
    Secondly……WHY DIDN’T WE DO THIS!!!!!!!
    You are awesome brother and I love your face!

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